


Perceived Event Horizon

by JaneTheHopeful



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Canon Disabled Character, Gen, Homicidal Ideation, M/M, Post-Island Mode, Suicidal Ideation, pessimism, teensy bit of internalized heterosexism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 12:10:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8713363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneTheHopeful/pseuds/JaneTheHopeful
Summary: "Don't you guys know that you're supposed to kill the villains when you win?"  Komaeda wakes up from Island Mode and learns about what's happened in reality. He reacts similarly to how he does in canon, but without the rules of the killing game to help him achieve the end he desires. Of course, this time he has friends or something like them, for what that's worth. Tags will update as the fic does. I will ignore most DR3 things with this.[on hiatus possibly for forever]





	1. Awake

**Author's Note:**

> An event horizon is the point in a black hole where gravitational pull is so strong that there's no chance of escape, a point of no return. 
> 
> Also, I promise Hinata will show up chapter 2, he doesn't really in chapter 1.

For just one moment he had a friend. For just one moment. He held hands with someone who agreed they were friends. What a nice dream it had been. Better than having a real, waking friend. Safer.

Komaeda opened his eyes and recognized that this was not his room. Was it the Hope's Peak's dorms? He was supposed to be starting school there. There was something green and semi-translucent above him, not what he expected from a dorm, even at a school as special as Hope's Peak it seemed out-of-place. He could feel something unfamiliar over the bottom part of his face, probably to help him breathe, he guessed. Had he been sedated and kidnapped for human experimentation? For someone like him, it was certainly possible. For someone like him, it was possible he was even abducted by aliens. Whatever had happened, it was sinking in that waking up in such a strange place was disturbing, that all signs pointed to something being horribly wrong.

He shifted the fingers on his right hand, trying to regain awareness of his body. They felt stiff. He just barely turned his wrist, he closed his hand and reopened it. He had short sleeves in whatever he was wearing. He moved to his left hand, closing and reopening it. He tensed and relaxed his shoulders. He was aware of his body. It reassured him that this was real. He was really there.

Something moved into the light above him. Probably a person. He guessed he'd find out what was happening now.

He winced as the green cover was pulled away and the room's lights grew brighter. When his eyes adjusted, he saw a woman in a suit with lavender hair pulled back into a ponytail standing over him. She had a professional look, so maybe he'd been kidnapped by a government agency. She looked over him for a moment before away to someone. "Nagito Komaeda has woken up. There are no immediately visible complications."

Komaeda leaned onto his hands to pull himself up, only to feel... the bottom of whatever he was laying in... against... the inside of his left forearm? He didn't understand what he felt and there was suddenly nothing comfortable about being aware of his body. He craned his neck to see what was going on. Just beyond his elbow, his left arm ended in rounded-off, scarred skin. When had that happened? That must be what he was here for. The government was studying the psychological effects of involuntary amputation that occurred while unconscious. Something like that. They could take advantage of his insecure sense of reality to make him into an agent who'd execute their means to an end and who lacked any government connection to find them guilty through.

He'd completely tensed up with fear when the woman spoke again. "I realize this must be shocking. I can't expect you believe me when I say you're safe. However... I'm Kyouko Kirigiri. I previously attended Hope's Peak as the Super High School Level Detective." She mostly didn't look at him when she spoke, but that was just as well. It wasn't like he was worthy of her attention. He hoped she was being honest and not just using his biases to gain his trust. If so, this could be good luck. Maybe she'd saved him from his real kidnappers.

He opened his mouth. It felt dry and stale. His voice came out hoarse. "What are you going to do?"

"First we should get you some water and something to eat. Then we'll explain what's going on." Kirigiri sounded distant. That was fine. Komaeda was more attentive to the 'we'. Definitely working with some group.

He moved to pull himself up again, this time leaning onto his forearms to pull himself up and struggled into a position with his knees in front of his chest and propping himself up with his one hand. He paused after the exertion and looked at himself. He was wearing hospital robes. That one thing wasn't too surprising.

"Would you like help getting up?" Kirigiri asked. He shook his head.

He braced his hand on one side of the thing he was in to stand up. It looked like some sort of electric pod for storing people. The room was filled with them, all in a circle around a column covered in buttons and monitors. The atmosphere was ridiculously sci-fi.It was about as unreal as his dream, suddenly having a class trip on an abandoned tourist island. He felt light-headed.

Komaeda followed Kirigiri to a more normal looking room and received a water bottle on the way, which Kirigiri twisted the cap off of. The room had a plain table with chairs and a window. He couldn't see any cameras. The sky outside was blue and there were some industrial-looking buildings, though probably not in use because there was no smoke pouring into the sky. The scene outside looked a lot like an area of the fifth island in his... dream? He sat down at the table, pondering everything over. This was probably some sort of hospital or place of rehabilitation. For what? Maybe he had some repressed memory of coming here that was why it looked like his dream? Maybe the "dream" had been some sort of simulation? That would explain the vividness and why he still remembered it, as well as the pod and the sci-fi room. Still, why? What had happened to his arm? He didn't have any choice but to go along with it for now, though. Wherever this was was where he was. He'd make a plan of action if things escalated. For now, knowing that they were on the first floor and that it was unlikely he was being closely monitored was enough. He could escape through the window if he needed.

Kirigiri returned with an apple and toast, following behind her was another professionally dressed woman using an motorized wheelchair with a monitor mounted to it, displaying a familiar face: Usami, a magical rabbit that had been his class' teacher in the dream or simulation or whatever it had been. The bunny on the monitor greeted him as Kirigiri set down the food on the table. "Good morning! I'm Miaya Gekkougahara. Usami, who you've met, speaks as my mascot! I hope we can get along!"

Gekkougahara was more polite and friendly than Kirigiri had been, Komaeda noted. "Nice to meet you," he returned. He tried his best to sound friendly, but he was still tired and distracted.

"Gekkougahara-san was the Super High School Level Therapist," Kirigiri said, as Komaeda started on his meal. She definitely brought this up again on purpose. He was sure.

"More importantly! I'm one of the creators of the Neo World Program, which is the name of the simulation you just left," spoke Gekkougahara's computer, her fingers racing across the keyboard. So, one of his guesses had been right. It was nice to know his brain was occasionally good for  _ something _ . "The program was created so that traumatic memories could be replaced with positive ones, but ethical concerns kept it from being implemented until now. Your memories and those of the rest of your class of your time at Hope's Peak Academy have been erased. Kirigiri and I are going to walk you through what you forgot, the point of the program, and what's going to happen now. Is that alright?"

Komaeda nodded. "So that means that everyone else on the island was real?"

"Yes," Kirigiri said, "What happened was a real experience that you shared with other living people, like a conversation through texts. You should be told that Nanami was an AI, but that doesn't make her not real, exactly. Just not human."

Komaeda was tempted to disagree, that it was nothing like a real experience, but that would be indignant. "How realistic it all was! It could be nothing but the work of talented people like Super High School Levels!" He smiled at Gekkougahara. Whatever she specifically did for the program, it was true the program was impressive.

"Your class had your suspicions that it couldn't be real, it was merely adequate," Gekkougahara said, Usami blushing on her screen. "But to the point. The purpose of putting you in the program was a last-ditch effort to see if it could help the damage done to you during what is known as The Largest, Worst, Most Despair-Inducing Tragedy in the History of Humankind."

Gekkougahara and Kirigiri explained everything to him. So sure, apparently a real person wanted to be his friend. That wasn't just a dream. But that didn't matter. Nagito Komaeda knew he was absolutely beyond forgiveness.And so began his new life on this island of hopeful refuge, learning that he was responsible for the Tragedy as a terrorist dyed with despair. He choked on his own laugh. "Don't you guys know that you're supposed to kill the villains when you win?"


	2. You'd be Kind Enough to Stop Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge warning here for suicidal thoughts, including planning. The planning doesn't get super specific, but it is there. Also, planning homicide. I would reconsider reading this if you're not in a great mental place right now. 
> 
> It's been five months since I posted chapter one, but I'm still writing this. Chapter two is here, with Hinata, as promised.
> 
> Chapter title is from Hazuki no Yume's translation of Shinitai-chan by Switch: https://hazukinoyume.wordpress.com/2016/01/10/shinitai-chan/

After Komaeda advocated for the execution of his entire class, some new rules were put in place. He had a curfew, he would be locked in his cottage at night, and he needed to be supervised when walking around. At least the Future Foundation babysitters let him have decent clothes. The first day he didn't even leave his room. He didn't want to be properly fed or see people or stay alive.

Changing out of the humiliating hospital wear and into normal clothes with one hand felt like quite a task. In actuality, it wasn't terribly hard, but it was slower than he was used to and he felt pathetic. The worst thing was that he still felt the hand he didn't have, thought of his body as having it, so he kept assuming it had to be there to use. He predicted that he'd have to be remembering to account for it a lot in the future, if he was going stay held hostage by people who _insisted on keeping him alive_.

He took out a notebook and worked over plans that couldn't go anywhere. If the real island is anything like the simulation, then even if the Future Foundation had confiscated any weapons, the things easiest to weaponize would probably be large machinery. Well, the easiest thing really would've been to disconnect the power on the Neo World Program, but apparently they'd chosen to wake him up last. Everyone already knew about his luck and they'd probably be informed of his disdain for who they really were, so even if none of them were just afraid of or uninterested in such things, they'd probably know better than to get on the rollercoaster with him. Really, what he would have to do is get everyone in one place and set up something that could kill them all without anyone realizing what he set up could kill them all. He wasn't sure he could do that unless he could escape supervision. He guessed he would have to see what his supervision was like and navigate around that. Well, if nothing else, a gap in supervision could give him a chance to kill himself. Maybe the others would know well enough to follow his lead.

After a while, he went to sleep, ignoring his gnawing hunger and gripping the end of his left arm to keep his hand at bay. His right arm had an exhausted kind of hurt. He'd slept through worse, though, and the abyss of unconsciousness was so welcoming.

-

The next morning, he showered in spite of his lightheadedness and put on fresh clothes. His right arm hurt tremendously in the midst of this. He had a sort of call button next to his door and he pressed it. "You're up early!" said Gekkougahara. "Tsumiki wanted to check up on you yesterday, so she and myself will be supervising you this morning." Tsumiki wanted to check up on him. He hoped she felt shame practicing her talent after forsaking its proper use to become Despair.

He lay back down while he waited for them and they seemed to take so long to come, but he really wished he could just avoid them forever. When the doorbell rang, he took his sweet time to walk over and compose a smile, before he opened the door. "Good morning, Tsumiki, Gekkougahara."

"Good Morning, Komaeda!"

"Ahhh, um, good morning."

Komaeda let them in and Tsumiki approached him with her eyes directed at her hands as they fidgeted. "So... well... are you in any pain? Um, so I... So I can do my best to address that...."

Komaeda looked Tsumiki over. She didn't look too much different than she had in the simulation. The biggest difference was that her hair was shorter and had been cut evenly. She had a cane now, but she probably could have used one all along. Certainly, she had the same trembling, hunched over posture. Her face looked the same, she wasn't missing any limbs, no glaring scars. He wondered how much earlier she'd been risen before he had been, if she hadn't looked so normal at first. After staring her down for a good long moment, he responded. "I think I've overworked my right arm and I'm dreadfully hungry. Is there anything else you think might be wrong me? I don't know what I should expect."

"Well... we'll, uhh, get you to breakfast in a moment and, well, you probably... you probably have overworked your right arm, um, I'm not so familiar with physical therapy or such to know what to do about that, though, I'm sorry, it's not so much my field... I-I-I-I'm... I don't really have such specialist skills..." Tsumiki was fretting and tearing up.

"It's fine, you don't need to know what you're doing, since you're only assisting the scum of the earth." Komaeda's tone was flat and he stared directly into her eyes.

Tsumiki shrank into herself and whined. "Well... You should take it easy with your arm, which I can help you with, just let me know if you're feeling fatigued and need me to cut your food or carry something or anything else! I-I-I-I'll... I'll do _anything_!" She met his eyes for a moment before continuing. "And you did ask about other problems, well, your posture seems fine, um, and your nub already healed while you were still out and while it's likely you have permanent nerve damage, you avoided dying from sepsis even with... the corpse... My main concern would be the cancer. You apparently did receive treatment before... when we were still attending Hope's Peak... but we don't know if that was even completed. And, uh, we don't have a PET scanner. Yet."

"So I'm probably still dying, but you can't even guess when. My life is pitiable, isn't it? Even with the Super High School Level Nurse looking after me, my prognosis is bleak and mysterious. You can't do anything. It's the same as it's always been, really."

Tsumiki looked away from Komaeda, her eyes welled up with tears.

Gekkougahara, who had been mostly quiet, typed rapidly. "Komaeda!" she interjected, scoldingly. "I understand that you are suffering, but it is not appropriate to blame Tsumiki, who is only trying to help you!"

"...did it sound like I was blaming her?"

"You absolutely were blaming her!"

"I guess I was, then."

"Uuum," Tsumiki brought the others' attention back to her. "To manage any pain you might experience, there's ibuprofen and acetaminophen, which we have, but you'll have to-have to request it. Also, it'll be a process, but with Souda's help, we could, uh, probably make you a p-prosthetic. If you wanted. A functional prosthetic wouldn't have the full dexterity of a regular hand, probably, but-but it's an option."

Komaeda sighed. Even if he somehow wasn't dying, he wasn't planning to live much longer. He was done talking about his health and the future. "I'll think about it," he said, staring off into the distance, "Let's eat already."

They all headed toward the dining hall on the second floor of the hotel. There were noticeable differences between how it had been in the simulation and the reality. The chairs and umbrellas beside the pool were slightly dirty. There was an elevator in the hotel lobby. The variety of food available was more limited. There were no longer fresh flowers hanging from the ceiling of the dining hall.

The only people already there were Owari and Nidai. Neither of them was as muscular as he remembered, Owari in particular was skinny, but they still had energy in their demeanor. Komaeda waved to them, but he didn't feel the need to greet them or start conversation with them, like Tsumiki and Gekkougahara went ahead and did. The two athletic Despairs tired him out with how loud they were. Komaeda sat alone with his western-style breakfast of a toasted bagel with jam. He had difficulty spreading the jam, but he refused to ask for help. Gekkougahara soon joined him with her own Japanese-style breakfast and Usami swiveled to her side.

"You said that you and Tsumiki would be supervising me this morning. That implies you two won't be in the afternoon. I know that you have no reason to trust me, since I'm a traitor to your goal of saving the Super High School Level Despairs, but... if I must be watched, Hinata would be among the most bearable to be accompanied by. You did say he's basically himself, right? Despite what was done to him?"

Gekkougahara smiled as she put down her miso soup and turned to type a response. "He's already requested as much! He's been worried about you, actually. I didn't think he seemed it at first, but Hinata's a sensitive guy."

Komaeda laughed softly. "If that's the case, maybe it's better if he doesn't spend time with me."

"What makes you say that?"

"Even if talent is much too fallible in bringing about Hope, I'm a special kind of worthless because my mere presence can bring down whoever dares to be around me. Well, except maybe Super High School Level Despairs." As Komaeda spoke, Gekkougahara kept still with her eyes on him.

"I realize you don't entirely trust me, but from my experience, I am fairly sure spending time together will be good for both of you."

Komaeda didn't bother protesting.

-

Hinata and Komaeda sat on one side of a beach chair beside the pool outside the hotel lobby. Komaeda's other babysitter for the afternoon was a third and final Future Foundation member staying to look after the Despairs, a former Super High School Level Good Luck, who was trying to give him and Hinata space to talk by staying on the other side of the pool, working on something on a laptop and talking to someone over voice chat. "I'm glad you're awake now," Hinata said, not looking particularly glad.

Hinata was really beautiful, it made Komaeda's chest ache. There was no immediately visible evidence of his corruption, save for his now red irises. And his eyes were compassionate, all the same. If Hinata was a monster, Komaeda couldn't shake the sense that he was more tragic than frightening. But someone striving so strongly for talent that he'd abandon himself to despair in the form of human experimentation was truly disgusting. He shouldn't forgive Hinata so easily.

"I'm not sure I'm glad that I'm awake. It would've been nice to fade out after taking your hand and then die in some wild malfunction. Going out on a feeling of hope like that, I certainly wouldn't mind it."

Hinata pursed his lips. Right. People can only handle so much honesty. "That's a concerning thing for you to say." Hinata's tone was serious.

"You should know by now that I say a lot of concerning things. This is par for the course." Komaeda laughed it off.

"People actually want us dead. That's not normal." He shook his head toward the ground. When saw Komaeda's raised eyebrows, he hastily tacked on, "...for me, at least."

"I don't think I've really established myself in a place if nobody at least sort of wishes I was dead. Now it's like the whole world is my home!" Komaeda maybe should have felt bad with how Hinata shrunk back from that, but it was really Hinata's fault for giving him an easy opening to say something like that.

But Hinata laughed, just a little bit. "You're way too easygoing. Even if you're used to it, this is definitely abnormal."

Komaeda frowned, Hinata didn't understand how things worked. "This is what we get for becoming Despair. We destroyed the world, made it barely habitable by human beings. We killed people. To hate us and kill us is what we have coming. The consequences of our actions were inevitable, who we are is the only abnormal thing here. This is just hope winning out over us."

"No, that's wrong!" Hinata basically shouted, but then covered his mouth bashfully.

The lucky babysitter laughed, maybe at something whoever he was talking to said, and Hinata shot him a glare. Komaeda was most definitely laughing at Hinata's expense.

"I mean it, though, you're wrong. Look... wasn't it just the last time we saw each other that you were saying that hope is in the bonds between people? If all of us were dead, the hope between all of us would be gone. And hope... it's the ultimate good, right? I know you believe that."

Komaeda frowned. "Hope _is_ the ultimate good, but I say a lot of dumb things without having thought about them yet."

Hinata picked at a scab on his elbow for a moment and kept his focus there when he spoke. "Anyway, I was thinking about starting a game club or a book club or something, just to have some structure around here that's not chores or health or secretly helping the Future Foundation related. Does something like that sound interesting to you? I'd be thankful if you wanted to be a part of it."

"...I like reading. I could do a book club, even if we're all evil and it's totally pointless. I'll play along with your façade of normalcy. But only for a friend."

Hinata's resigned half-smile was warm, somehow, and Komaeda felt like he was buzzing inside when their eyes met. His guise of friendship was disgusting and deceptive, probably. He didn't care. They were both monsters, anyway. And Hinata, unfortunately, happened to be beautiful.

Hinata wanted to keep spending time with him into the future. It gave Komaeda an unconscionable hesitation towards dying. He wanted to milk this last good luck for what it was worth.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to Megumi Ogata that Hinata isn't going to fix Komaeda with the power of love, not on my watch. Yeah. Don't worry. I'm a certified Sad Person™, have been a long time.
> 
> I welcome constructive criticism, I know my writing has room to improve. I also just welcome general comments. Please talk to me about my writing.


End file.
